I had a fun Spirit Mind experience today where I realized that when my Material Mind is outside of Spirit Mind, I often feel caught between other people’s needs, not really taking care of my own.
When my Material Mind is inside Spirit Mind, the opposite happens. This became really clear today because we're planning a trip where we'll be staying near some friends. In the past, this part of the trip was always stressful because I wanted to see my friends, and I knew they wanted to see me. At the same time, I knew that Hisami needed some alone time to reset, and I wanted to spend time with her as well.
It felt like I was constantly juggling between my friends' needs and my wife's needs, without even thinking about my own. My Material Mind tends to want to make sure everyone likes me and that everyone else is okay, which can be really stressful. I often forget to ask myself, “What do I need?” I would come back from vacation feeling like I spent the entire time juggling an agenda instead of being able to relax.
I was pleasantly surprised that things are working out differently this year. Right away, I reached out to my friends to give them a heads-up, which I don’t always do. In the past, I’d try to sneak into town without them knowing, hoping to get a few days alone before they found out, which never worked.
This time, I reached out ahead of time and clearly communicated: “Hey, we're coming for these dates. I’d like to spend one day having dinner together, but otherwise, we’ll be busy relaxing and doing other things.” I didn’t feel any guilt or like I was letting my friends down. It was just clear communication, and the difference is that my Material Mind is within the space of Spirit Mind.
I realized it’s okay for me to have needs. It’s okay for me to create the vacation I want, listen to Hisami, listen to my friends, and, most importantly, listen to myself. I felt comfortable stating what I needed and finding that balance.
It’s really exciting how little things like this—so subtle and simple—remind me how different life feels when the Material Mind is inside Spirit Mind. And it shows how needlessly stressful things can become when my Material Mind is trying to juggle everyone else’s needs without centering in Spirit Mind.
