It’s funny how easy it is to misunderstand our guidance.
So for example, have you ever noticed that you’re talking to somebody and you’re thinking that you’re not really listening? Or maybe you’re reading an email and thinking you’re being defensive?
Now, I had both these things happen recently, but I realized as they were happening that—ah—that voice that was saying you’re not listening was my guidance talking to me. It wasn’t the other person.
Right? But in the moment, my first reaction was—I’m talking to Hisami, I’m trying to get some point across—and then I hear this thought: You’re not listening.
And so I want to tell her, I don’t think you’re listening to me. I’m trying to tell you this.
In fact, that’s what actually came out of my mouth the first time.
And then I realized, wait a minute—I’m not listening. Because I’m trying to make this point. I’m not listening to what she’s trying to share, what she’s excited about.
Wait a minute. This is my guidance.
This is my guidance—me—a different part of me—saying, Hey, Jeffrey, you’re not listening.
But because I’m not listening, I take that thought that comes out of my mouth and I project it to the other person: You’re not listening, to her, rather than me.
Interesting thought.
So once I noticed that, I started seeing it other places too.
A good example was today—I’m reading an email—and I hear you’re being defensive. And so I begin reading the email from the perspective of imagining that the other person is responding from a defensive position.
Which is very unusual—this person isn’t a defensive person. They’re just very clear, motivated for a clean communication, and everybody feels good. And I know that about this person.
But reading through this lens—imagining, hearing this thought you’re being defensive—I’m reading it in a way like: maybe they’re trying to poke a barb here, or they’re getting lit up, or they’re saying this because of that. Like, I’m imagining a whole additional scenario that’s not real.
But while that’s happening, I remember—oh yeah, this is my guidance. You’re being defensive is me telling myself, reminding myself: you’re being defensive, Jeffrey.
Something’s lit up here.
And you’re actually—not listening too—is what I realized.
So then I went through. I read the email again from a blank perspective, just neutrality.
Okay, what is this person trying to say?
Let me assume that they’re doing what they always do, which is just trying to reach clarity and trying to help, right?
Most people are trying to help us and connect with us.
People aren’t really trying to attack us or harm us or shut us down—in the most part.
You know, we may all have some pain around times when that’s happened before, but it’s not the general case.
The general case is that we’re communicating with people who are trying to help us, right?
Or they’re just trying to share something that they enjoy and they want to connect with us in that way.
So then I went back and I reread the email, top to bottom, with a blank slate—and realized: wow.
All the things that I’d been starting to reply to and sort of typing out my draft email—even though I had good points, I had some interesting things in there that I did want to communicate—I had been communicating them from a defensive position.
And then when I read the email, I realized, Oh, this person’s really trying to help me.
Oh, I didn’t even see this whole paragraph here they wrote. My brain just kind of skipped over.
This is really good.
I really like this.
I agree with this point too. Wow, actually, I agree with almost everything they said here.
And when I went back and reread it, then I could look at my content and say: okay, I just rearrange a little bit and start with the big picture.
Hey, I agree. Thanks for sharing that. This is really helpful. This is actually what I was looking for. And I’m curious about a couple things. Here’s a couple things I wondered about.
And the response that came from me was so much different than if I’d have hung on to this idea—this misunderstanding—that they were being defensive…
When in fact, my guidance was telling me, Hey Jeffrey, you’re being defensive.
So I hope that you remember this—when you’re getting your guidance that’s coming in—because it feels like it’s coming from the outside when we’re a little off-center.
Our guidance feels like it’s from the outside.
You know, we’re focusing on external rather than internal. So it’s easy to misunderstand this.
So if you hear like, You’re being defensive. You’re not listening. You’re being angry, you know—whatever it is for you and your situation—just pause for a moment and just wonder:
Oh… maybe that “you” is me.
Maybe I’m telling myself “you’re being defensive.” I’m telling myself “you’re not listening.”
And see how that changes things for you.
And this is really a wonderful example of Spirit Mind living, because that voice that’s talking to you is the Spirit Mind—trying to tell you, trying to observe, trying to help you see things from this higher perspective.
So… have fun with that.
Okay.
